Did It Cross Your Mind?
by kisaru
Summary: Naruto finds out he has a fiance and TWOO WUV ENSOOZ. And, well, Sasuke and Neji have something to say about that. (YAOI -- NejiNaru, SasuNaru) chapter five totally done
1. Inner Consciences Suck

Warning: Cliché-ness. I'm horrible at writing for the Naruto fandom... @_@ Also, OOCness (especially on Naruto's part), and SasuNaru. If you hadn't figured that out yet.   
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Sasuke would be dead. Hear me? DEAD! *stabs him*   
  
**Chapter Revised: 2/3/04**   
  
~~~Chapter one: Inner Consciences Suck~~~   
  
"Hit me."   
  
Blackjack-- a game in which players try to get the value of their cards as close to 21 as possible   
  
"Hit me."   
  
You can't go over 21, and you don't get consolation points if you don't go over.   
  
"Hit me!"   
  
So if you have something under 21, there's still the possibility that someone is closer to 21 than you are.   
  
"Hit me again."   
  
It's all or nothing, then.   
  
"Me too."   
  
"Wait. I can't deal that fast."   
  
"You're even the worst at dealing, dobe."   
  
A round of pleasant laughter filled the dimly lit room.   
  
The candles danced in excitement. For tonight was the night of candles. Tonight was the night frugality and modesty would be readopted in hidden passion and love. Tonight was the night love and hate would battle in a desperate war for dominance.   
  
It was a blackout.   
  
At exactly 10:00 PM, all across Konoha, all the lights, as though some sort of god had willed it, simultaneously flickered off, leaving every single villager enveloped in complete darkness.   
  
Many were already sleep by that time and didn't notice the electricity blow. The sun would just rise and there would be no need for lights, but a group of ninjas-- a girl, two boys, and a teacher-- were not yet asleep. Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto, accompanied by their teacher, Hatake Kakashi, were waiting at the Ichiraku Ramen, playing an innocent game of blackjack. Little did they know that they were soon to be consumed, swallowed, and utterly totaled by the infinitely powerful force that was the omniscient narrator!! But, putting all silliness aside...   
  
"I want some ramen..." Naruto would constantly complain. The ramen cannot be cooked without electricity to light an electric stove, you see, so the blond boy could not acquire the ramen he so desired. It was really quite ironic- to be stuck at a ramen bar with no means of eating ramen. At times, between blackjack rounds, Naruto would sneak off to gaze at the marvelous mountains of uncooked ramen. It was so close to him, yet it was so far away... And he tried not to cry, but it was very, very painful.   
  
Sakura suggested they just leave to their separate homes and completely forget about the client with whom they were supposed to meet tonight. This proposal was instantly met with a cold glare from Uchiha Sasuke and several loudmouth complaints on Naruto's part. Sakura decided it would be wise not to provoke the boys on this night.   
  
Hatake Kakashi smiled kindly at the pink haired girl.   
  
"They're just excited because this mission isn't D class. I'd love to go home myself, but a mission's a mission."   
  
Sakura frowned, a slight blush of embarrassment tinting her cheeks. Kakashi always seemed to be the one to sympathize with her, and she was grateful for that, but couldn't Sasuke soften up just a little? Perhaps her unending quest for love was in vain after all... She wasn't going to impress Sasuke with any of her fighting skills, and she wasn't flattering Sasuke with her compliments. How frustrating could one man be?   
  
"...Wanna play blackjack again?"   
  
"...I'm dealing."   
  
And the game began. The cards were dealt. Two to each person.   
  
Sasuke would normally refuse playing such a tedious game in favor of a more physical form of antagonism, but he couldn't pass up a chance to beat Naruto. Naruto always lost in competitions against Uchiha Sasuke, but Naruto seemed to be confident in playing this game. Naruto had almost lost all rounds of blackjack so far, and he didn't seem at all discouraged. He didn't even get angry when he lost round after round after round... Did the fox have some sort of plan up his orange sleeves?   
  
Sakura received the last card. A queen of hearts.   
  
Simultaneously, all except for Naruto took a peek at their cards.   
  
Sasuke looked from side to side.   
  
"Hit me," was his calm and cool answer.   
  
His eye flashing, Kakashi slapped a card face up on Sasuke's hand.   
  
An ace of diamonds stared up at him like a dead fish.   
  
Sasuke frowned. Ace, 6, and 7. That was 14.   
  
"Double down!" Naruto exclaimed merrily.   
  
"You don't have anything to bet, idiot."   
  
There was a pause as Naruto closed his eyes and folded his arms in a trademark thinking position.   
  
"Then..."   
  
A flash of red was slapped on the table as an absurdly unpleasant scent engulfed the area like a shroud.   
  
"I bet my sock," the fox declared, grinning evilly.   
  
Kakashi and Sakura immediately held their noses, but Sasuke didn't even flinch. Instead, he smirked back at the other boy, one hand reaching under the table as he ripped the socks off his feet and slammed them both on the smelly table. They were black.   
  
"Two socks."   
  
As Naruto reluctantly threw his other sock (which was blue) on the table, Kakashi sighed. Apparently, these kids had no idea how to bet. They just wanted to intimidate each other... with socks. Really smelly socks. Naruto's smelled like a combination of ramen, sweat, and that smell that you smell when you smell at 2:00 in the morning and you think "oh shit" (you know that one I'm talking about).   
  
Sasuke's socks, on the other hand, smelled like appallingly rotten eggs.   
  
At this point, Naruto and Sasuke were staring at the other players.   
  
"Nuh-uh. I'm out," Sakura said, lightly pushing herself away from the table.   
  
Kakashi stared at his sandals, wiggling his bare stubby toes that looked like lone potatoes on the brisk winter night. Why was he the only one to wear sandals during winter?   
  
He held his nose as he spoke.   
  
"I'm out. Now, Naruto, you have to double your bet."   
  
Naruto threw in a shoe.   
  
"That should count."   
  
"Ugh!" the others groaned, tightening their holds on their noses. Naruto's shoe smelled like Sasuke's socks, and they had had _enough_ of Sasuke's socks for one night! After a pause, Kakashi finally handed Naruto his allotted card.   
  
Naruto frowned.   
  
It was a king.   
  
He looked at his own card.   
  
It was a queen.   
  
Slowly, Naruto began to count on his fingers. Ten plus ten made... twenty. That was almost 21.   
  
Then Naruto remembered that he had another card that almost certainly put him over 21, and he groaned.   
  
Sasuke regarded Naruto's miserable face, and turned to Kakashi. "Hit me."   
  
A seven of spades.   
  
After a pause, he calmly said, "I'm staying."   
  
"Show your hands."   
  
**Naruto: King, queen, ace. 21.   
  
Sasuke: 6, 7, 7, ace. 21.**   
  
Both boys growled in frustration. It was enough that they had demoted themselves to betting their clothes, but they tied as well? You couldn't tie in blackjack. It was supposed to be all or nothing, and, in this case, one could consider that they both lost and got nothing.   
  
"Play again!" they both shouted, Naruto a little more half-hearted than Sasuke.   
  
Sakura gathered up the piles of scattered cards in a gesture much like raking the autumn leaves.   
  
Kakashi shook his head. "No more."   
  
"What?!"   
  
"Why?!"   
  
"Our client is here."   
  
Immediately, the three genin lifted their heads.   
  
Footsteps.   
  
And the soft tinkling of bells.   
  
The woman wore black from head to toe. She wore a black velvet robe to hide her figure and most of her face, and her blue eyes glittered brilliantly underneath the moon despite the hood concealing her. Bell-shaped ornaments trailed her sandals to announce her presence- the sound undoubtedly catching anyone who listened into a dull and monotonic trance.   
  
Kakashi left the candlelight of the ramen house to speak with the robed woman. The tinkling came to a halt as the woman lifted her head to speak. The three genin merely stared, feeling inclined to stay out of conversations with this particular client.   
  
The two speaking seemed to nod sadly as the woman lifted one shoe behind her, silently detaching one of the bells from her shoes and handing it to Kakashi. The teacher promptly inserted the bell into his right pocket, and the woman then handed him a small scroll wrapped in a red bow. Kakashi nodded, turning back towards his team, and the woman suddenly disappeared into the night, the tinkling of the bells lingering in the air.   
  
"We have to locate a missing person, guys!" was the cheerful announcement. The jounin waved around the scroll he had just received, and he only grinned further when he saw the brightening faces of his teammates. Even Sasuke's face perked up a bit. "That woman is looking for her friend's son. He should be as old as you guys are, she said. He's to be brought back home. Apparently, he has a fiancé waiting for him there."   
  
"Great!" Naruto exclaimed, the word "fiancé" catching his ears. "What does he look like?"   
  
"The only clue she gave was this."   
  
He took the bell out of his pocket- the bell that wouldn't ring.   
  
"She says that this bell has long been broken. The boy she's looking for should be able to hear it, though."   
  
Kakashi shook it around a bit.   
  
No sound.   
  
"I just wanna make sure it's not any of you."   
  
"There isn't anything in that bell. How is anyone supposed to hear anything?" Sakura complained.   
  
Kakashi shrugged, handing the bell to a jumping Naruto. Happily, the fox flicked his nail (which had been bitten and chewed many times) across the bell.   
  
No sound.   
  
This frustrated Naruto- just a little, and he began to tap harder on the tiny piece of metal. He felt as though the bell was flicking _him_ on the finger, the pain causing him to yelp louder with every tap. It was really, _really_ stupid. Naruto shook the bell around. Nothing. He threw it on the ground.   
  
Nothing.   
  
Finally, he bit it.   
  
And he heard a little tune in his head. There was no instrument playing the tune. It was as though he had just thought the tune up.   
  
_High. Low, low, low, low. High. High. High. _   
  
And it repeated.   
  
_High. Low, low, low, low. High. High. High._   
  
Kakashi and the others were slowly waving their hands in front of Naruto's face before he finally came forth and conscious. "I can hear it!" he exclaimed as he took the bell from his mouth, saliva trailing from the gold. Happily, he hummed the tune that previously rang through his head to the others. Obviously, he was off a couple of keys, but he had unmistakably heard it! The blond boy jumped up and down, suddenly wanting to meet his fiancé.   
  
"The mission's over already?" Kakashi sighed.   
  
"Thanks a lot," Sasuke bitterly remarked.   
  
Sakura just laughed nervously.   
  
She wasn't angry with Naruto at all. She was very relieved that the mission had ended so soon, but she might've disappointed Sasuke in the process of making Naruto feel better. It wasn't that she didn't love Naruto as much as Sasuke. It was more so... she didn't _love_ Naruto... as much as she loved _Sasuke_.   
  
Naruto didn't seem perturbed, though. He was quite jubilant. His mind couldn't stray from the fact that he might've had a beautiful girl that was _waiting_ for him back in this "home" place. It didn't even strike him that since he was an orphan, he shouldn't have had any relatives. It also never struck the mind of the authoress, and NOR SHALL IT STRIKE YOURS. Obviously, his relatives hadn't heard about the horrid kyuubi incident, and they were never able to retrieve Naruto for their own keeping. It happened all the time, didn't it? Of course it did.   
  
"So when do I get to meet her?!" Naruto asked, jumping up and down in anticipation.   
  
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Meet whom?"   
  
"My fiancé!" he huffed.   
  
"Idiot," Sasuke muttered as he walked back to the blackjack table covered in smelly warm socks. His relief didn't show, but he was the happiest of all of them. He was inwardly celebrating Naruto's departure, willing to force Naruto to leave as soon as possible, and hoping that they would never ever meet again.   
  
...Or was he?   
  
Yeah. He was. Shut up.   
  
Ignoring Sasuke once again, Naruto watched as Kakashi reluctantly removed the scroll from his pocket and handed it to Naruto. "You sure you heard something?"   
  
"Yeah!" Naruto hummed the tune again.   
"And you're not crazy?"   
  
"No!"   
  
"..."   
  
"..."   
  
"...Fine."   
  
Almost instinctively, Naruto sunk his teeth into the red ribbon and pulled it off.   
  
Sasuke watched from afar.   
  
Now, normally, watching someone rip cloth with his or her teeth is incredibly sexy. It reminds one of ripping off one's _own_ clothes... in a very barbaric and animalistic way. When Naruto did it, though, he just _ruined_ it. There was _nothing_ sexy about it anymore. This was what passed though all of their minds. This was what passed though Sakura's mind, Kakashi's mind, and Sasuke's mind. I mean, it _did_ pass though Sasuke's mind, right? Didn't it?   
  
Didn't it?   
  
Sasuke swallowed nervously, sweat starting to accumulate across his nose.   
  
I suppose this is all very confusing. Allow this humble authoress to explain.   
  
Sasuke had a conscience. His name was "inner Sasuke."   
  
Inner Sasuke was similar to Sakura's inner self, but it was also the container for Sasuke's deadliest attribute.   
  
He was horny.   
  
Very much so.   
  
And it wasn't just on occasion. It was _all the time_. Imagine if _you_ had a voice in your head telling you to lay down and fuck the one person you hated the most. That's right. Sasuke was horny, and he was horny for Uzumaki Naruto.   
  
All the time.   
  
...Hell yeah!   
  
A light blushed spread over the dark-haired boy's face as he watched Naruto struggle with ripping off the red ribbon.   
  
_Isn't he so cute?! Don't you wanna just lie him down and lick him all over?!_   
  
_Fuck yeah!-eh... I mean... No._   
  
Furiously, Sasuke shook his head. This was wrong. Naruto was a _boy_. It wasn't right to lie someone down and lick them all over if they were a boy!   
  
_Unless... I *accidentally*..._   
  
He almost threw up at the thought of being h-h-homo- homo- homose-- gay (1). Sasuke never even considered the alternative, which was licking a girl all over, and if he did, he probably would've thrown up as well. Sasuke wasn't at the stage in which he would be attracted to absolutely everything he saw, but Naruto... Naruto was different...   
  
Either that, or Sasuke was crazy.   
  
...Yeah. We'll go with that.   
  
"Oi. Sasuke-kuuun..." Sakura called softly.   
  
Sasuke blinked. Sakura was only inches away from his face, and he could feel her breath on his face. Scowling with the intensity of a tiger, he turned to the table, only to writhe in the unbeatable stench of warm smelly socks. Two black ones, a red one, and a blue one. Kami-sama, didn't Naruto at least have the decency to wear matching socks?   
  
_Makes things more interesting..._   
  
_No. It doesn't. It's a completely uninteresting pattern of apparel._   
  
_Face it. You're gay and you like Naruto._   
  
_No, I don't!_   
  
_Yes, you do. You want Naruto. Don't deny it, Sasuke-kun._   
  
_NO!_   
  
_You sure you don't want Naruto?_   
  
"Sasuke--?"   
  
"OF COURSE I DON'T WANT NARUTO-"   
  
He slapped a hand over his mouth, sweating in the midst of all those stares. To Sasuke's disappointment, Naruto didn't bother to stare at him. He was too busy staring at the writing on the scroll. Something inside of Sasuke was relieved that Naruto was too stupid to notice Sasuke's obvious love confession, and yet, another part of Sasuke longed for Naruto to look at him with those innocent blue eyes. That same part also wanted to lay Naruto down and lick him all over, but that was beside the point.   
  
"Naruto's socks."   
  
He mentally slapped himself.   
  
"Of course I don't want Naruto's socks. Naruto, you can have your stupid socks back-"   
  
"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto interrupted, still not paying any mind to Sasuke's plight. It was relieving, but it also left a horrible aching feeling in Uchiha's chest...   
  
"What is it?"   
  
Kakashi was pulled by the non-existent collar of his uniform until he was mere inches away from Naruto's flushed and innocent face.   
  
"Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto whispered dreamily.   
  
Sasuke twitched.   
  
What was this feeling?   
  
"Kakashi-sensei, I can't read all the kanji. Help. Now."   
  
The jounin rolled his eyes from underneath the mess of silver hair.   
  
"It says..." His eyes scanned over the page, his expression darkening at the strange titles of the village and landmarks. "You have to go to Valence Village," he read. "The address is 424 Sardine Street. Your aunt should be there to meet you and..." He looked under the scroll. Then he planted a smile on his face in complacency. "That's it."   
  
"But I never heard anything about an aunt-"   
  
AND THEY WERE OFF!   
  
~~~   
  
(1) I'm sorry I used this joke again! But I HAD to put it in! I HAD to! XP   
  
Next chapter: The inevitable Mary-Sue, the ring of wedding bells, and Sasuke's true feelings... OF ANGST!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I swear that I'll continue this one! The plotline is way too open for me NOT to continue it! ^____^;; I apologize if the fic had a moodswing into extreme silliness... I tend to do that a lot... XD   
  



	2. Airheaded, obnoxious, and cute

Disclaimer: (1) I don't own Naruto. That's © Masashi Kishimoto. (2) I. Hate. Sasuke. So it may seem that I am ruthlessly bashing Sasuke's character. Don't hate me for it. Please. XD   
  
Bishiehuggler - Mighty poop, you're right! I *knew* fiancé looked weird! XP So I guess it's a boy then... And that means only one thing: PLOT DEVICE.   
  
Warning: SasuNaru, OOCness. I apologize beforehand for antagonizing Neji. Honestly, I love Neji and I love NejiNaru (which is also in this chapter), but if this is going to be a SasuNaru fic, I need to make Sasuke a likable character, which... to say the least... is hard... at least for me... ^^;; All the ninjas are their normal ages in this fic, my friends. I don't see the point in promoting them to teenage levels. It's not like the brats mature or anything.   
  
Let's begin, shall we?   
  
**Chapter Revised: 2/5/04**   
  
~~~**Chapter Two: Airheaded, obnoxious, and cute Every straight man's dream?**   
  
We all know Sasuke.   
  
Cool, sexy, and a so-called "avenger".   
  
Perhaps it was these qualities that so distracted us from the ninja's blatant and obvious attraction to a certain blond spiky-haired teammate.   
  
Yes, let all the SasuNaru fans grin and nod as I personally rip out a diagram containing the probability and statistics of their relationship. Hohoho yes. Is it just me or is this getting self-insertive?   
  
Remember when Naruto was nose to nose with Uchiha Sasuke, scowling, crouching on the desk like a mad lion, allowing the lightning sparks to fly in utter hatred and rivalry? Remember when Sasuke furiously muttered for the blond to "move" and Naruto merely scoffed?   
  
The fact of the matter is, Sasuke was not referring to Naruto when he so _rudely_ said "move."   
  
He was actually talking to himself.   
  
_Now's your chance! Kiss him now!_   
  
_B-but... I'm s-s-scared..._   
  
_Come on, Uchiha! MOVE!_   
  
And when they kissed, Sasuke was, in fact, blushing. It was cut out of the manga for censorship purposes. The censors couldn't bear to see a scratch on the beautiful face of Uchiha Sasuke, so they replaced the blush with several sweatdrops and lines. Stupid censors.   
  
The truth was that, ever since he had first laid eyes on the kyuubi, Sasuke had been in love, in anguish, and, most importantly, in puberty. He had the urge to stalk like a hunter hunting a deer, and he would kill to make the fox his own. But he'd never tell anyone. Oh no. Not that. That would be murder. On himself. There were many times when Sasuke wanted to confess his love, but he had been too scared to do it. Instead, he just watched as Naruto made friends and became the center of attention for the entire village. All he could do was watch as the one he loved became sought after, loved, and wanted by other people.   
  
So many other people.   
  
~~~   
  
It was still night, and team 7 had left the ramen bar. Sakura went back home, no one knew where Kakashi went, Naruto went to stay over at Shikamaru's house, and Sasuke... well, he decided to wander around the village.   
  
The streetlights still were not lit. The blackout was still present in Konoha, so the lovesick boy decided to sit down and think things out. He roughly fell back onto a bench, slinging his arms around the back.   
  
A cold breeze blew, and Sasuke listened fondly to the rustle of the trees. His peace, though, was shattered.   
  
"Well, well, well..."   
  
Sasuke cringed.   
  
"Hello, Uchiha Sasuke," the genius drawled, grinning from ear to ear in a manner that sent insane shivers down Sasuke's spine. Oh, how the genius loved to watch Uchiha shift uncomfortably in hatred and frustration. It wasn't that he was sadistic. He was merely enjoying the prospect of his slow and overbearing victory over Sasuke. Absentmindedly, the genius ran a hand through his long black locks and sat down next to Sasuke on the bench. His arm was slung over the back of the chair.   
  
The two boys immediately turned away from one another.   
  
"Hello, Hyuuga," was Sasuke's dull and hateful reply.   
  
A dull grin. Neji knew that he was the only one that could make Sasuke writhe in such anger. Neji knew he was the only one (other than Itachi) who could make Sasuke experience the dull pain of self-loathing.   
  
He knew he was the only one who could make Sasuke so jealous.   
  
Yes, that's right. Sasuke was jealous of Neji. The question was, "How?" Neji was a lady-killer just as Sasuke was, but, unlike Sasuke, Neji was also a charmer. He knew how to make his moves on the ladies. All he had to do was flash his bird in the cage and boast about his horrible past, and the fans would be all over him.   
  
At the moment, the genius was after a different kind a prey.   
  
He was chasing after Uzumaki Naruto.   
  
And something about Neji's prey made Sasuke want to kill, made Sasuke's blood boil in violent anguish. Sasuke couldn't put his finger on it, but Neji knew exactly what was going on. Poor, naïve Sasuke. He just couldn't bear to realize his deep attraction to the blond boy. Neji knew that Sasuke would never do anything about anything if it wasn't handed him on a silver platter, and, even then, he'd be hesitant. Uchiha would be confused and alone in his feelings until Naruto finally realized his own feelings for Neji. Sasuke would be alone and Neji would have the blond all to himself.   
  
Oh, it would be sweet.   
  
"So... Sasuke..." Neji began, his arm creeping around the bench to place his hand on the other boy's shoulder.   
  
Sasuke shivered. He knew exactly why Neji had arrived, and, if it was the only way he could get the bird off his back, he'd relay his most valuable information. Taking a deep breath, he sang like a canary. A dark-haired canary.   
  
"...I tied with Naruto in blackjack."   
  
"HAHA!" Neji laughed, his grin becoming maniacal. "I knew it! He let you win!"   
  
"You shouldn't be so happy about it," Sasuke replied, pouting. "It means that he cares about me."   
  
"...That's true..." Neji pondered, putting a knowing finger to his chin.   
  
So they just sat there for a while before Neji once again plastered the mischievous grin on his delicate face. It almost scared Sasuke how Neji could express his emotions so clearly, and how maniacal those emotions were. "Then, Sasuke, does this mean that you really do have feelings for little Naruto-kun?"   
  
"_HELL YES!_ " inner Sasuke triumphantly declared.   
  
"No. Of course not," Sasuke declared, frowning.   
  
Neji chuckled darkly as he took his hand from Sasuke's shoulder.   
  
"Whatever you say, Uchiha..."   
  
He got up and left.   
  
"...Whatever you say."   
  
Obtaining Naruto would be simpler than he could've imagined.   
  
~~~   
  
"Hit me."   
  
A three of clubs.   
  
Shikamaru, with the usual cynical frown on his face, sighed in exasperation, dealing another card to his friend. Naruto didn't seem to notice nor care, for he was frowning in what seemed to be very deep thought.   
  
"Hmph."   
  
Naruto was troubled.   
  
_Stupid Sasuke._   
  
He had let Sasuke win all those games at Ichiraku, he had ignored Sasuke as much as he could've, but no matter what he did, he couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something wrong with Sasuke. He had heard Sasuke as clearly as anyone else had that night.   
  
_Of course I don't want Naruto-_   
  
Obviously, the comment about the socks was added as a cover up, but Naruto knew what Sasuke really meant.   
  
_Of course I don't want Naruto to come back. I want him to leave as soon as possible and never come back!_   
  
"I got 18. You?"   
  
_Of course I don't want Naruto to stay in his village. We'd all be happier without him._   
  
Naruto sighed.   
  
"24."   
  
The chuunin blinked.   
  
"You had 21, Naruto. Why did you ask for another card?"   
  
"I guess I didn't notice..."   
  
Naruto sighed again.   
  
_Stupid Sasuke._   
  
"Shikamaru, can I ask you a question?"   
  
"That's already a question, but okay."   
  
As though preparing himself, the blond boy lifted his hands from the table and slapped them down on his knees, taking in a deep breath. "Shikamaru..." he began as his features scrunched into a painful frown. "Do you like me?"   
  
"No. You're troublesome."   
  
"Answer me seriously!" he snapped. "Would you be happier if I left?"   
  
Naruto's face was absolutely serious.   
  
Shikamaru gave an exasperated sigh. Obviously, Naruto was looking for an unnecessary ego boost, and there was no way the genius was going to relay the satisfaction to that fox. He actually _did_ care very much about Naruto, and probably would've been happier had he never met Naruto in the first place, but the fox had wormed his way into Shikamaru's heart... And we'll stop this mush-fest here.   
  
"Naruto, that's a stupid question."   
  
"But-"   
  
"It's late. Go to sleep."   
  
Without another word, the two of them crawled into their beds. Shikamaru casually reached over to the nightstand, took the candle that had lit the house during the blackout in his hands, and gently blew it out, still muttering about damn blond boys being so troublesome.   
  
~~~   
  
The only thing he could see was the sun shining brightly through his eyelids. A hand flung up to his face as he tried to shield himself from the light, but it didn't seem to work. His hand dropped back down to his side as the light was suddenly blocked by a large object in front of him. Instead of contemplating what the object could possibly be, Naruto yawned, struggling to force one eye open. A large man was sitting on his bed.   
  
"Yo."   
  
Flocks of birds scattered from the area as though a gunshot had just gone off. Dozens of people woke up from their beds with piercing headaches, for nothing could've prepared them for the scream that had just exploded from the tiny home of Uzumaki Naruto.   
  
"K-K-Kakashi-sensei?! What the hell are you doing here?!"   
  
"Fiancé."   
  
Many more flocks of birds and dozens of people were incited into confusion as though the world had just ended, for nothing could've prepared the poor souls for the second scream that exploded from the tiny home of Uzumaki Naruto.   
  
"HELL YEAH!! I get to meet her today!!"   
  
Kakashi blinked, contemplating whether or not he should've told the boy that the beautiful mistress he would be meeting was actually going to be a boy. He decided against it, though, when he imagined what Naruto's reaction would be. For some reason, Kakashi imagined that large puffs of steam leaked out of Naruto's ears, and the shinobi was much shorter than he was supposed to be.   
  
"Wait a sec..." Naruto muttered, thoughtfully putting a finger to his lips.   
  
"Hm?"   
  
"Wasn't I just at Shikamaru's house?"   
  
Kakashi blinked.   
  
"Someone must've brought you home. Hurry up. Sasuke and Sakura are waiting outside."   
  
Grinning from ear to ear, Naruto jumped out of his bed, rushed into his clothes, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, adjusted his... tie... and did everything he could've possibly done to improve his visage and overall appearance. He wanted to make a good first impression on his fiancé. As he looked at his manly exterior in the bathroom mirror, he smiled to himself and nodded. Today was going to be a good day. He could tell. Today was the day that he would learn what it felt like to be adored and loved in _that_ way. He didn't have to pine after Sakura, or any other woman anymore, because love was going to fall right into his lap. Oh, arranged marriages were sweet. He'd get married, he'd have a family, and he's rub it all in Sasuke's face...   
  
He paused in his thoughts, unable to focus on his reflection any longer.   
  
"Sasuke..."   
  
His eye twitched.   
  
_Would you happier if I left?_   
  
_Naruto, that's a stupid question._   
  
Did Shikamaru mean yes? Or did he mean no?   
  
_Of course I don't want Naruto--_   
  
_I don't want Naruto back._   
  
His thoughts were interrupted by familiar voice.   
  
"...Just for how long are you going to stand there?"   
  
Naruto almost jumped out of his shorts.   
  
It seemed as though Kakashi had been standing at his bathroom door watching Naruto pose in front of the mirror for well over a minute, and the blond couldn't help but blush in remembrance of what ridiculous super hero fighting poses he had struck. It reminded Kakashi of Gai's frightening eccentric personality, actually.   
  
"Do you _mind_?!" Naruto yelled, slamming the door in his teacher's face as he plopped himself on the fluffy seat of the toilet. Frowning, he stared off at the opposite wall, thinking of what he'd say to the lucky girl. He soon assumed a happy smile as he got lost in his own thoughts.   
  
_"Hello, miss! My name is Uzumaki Naruto!"   
  
"My name is Rukoha Kasuke, thank you very much."_   
  
She'd be kind, sometimes a bit grumpy, and though she wouldn't show it most of the time, she'd care about him more than anything in the world.   
  
_"You're so cute! I can't help falling in love with you, Naruto!"_   
  
Yeah. She'd be nice, unlike Sasuke.   
  
But, once again, his thoughts were interrupted.   
  
"Hurry up, idiot."   
  
"Okay!" he retorted, slamming his fist against the sink. "Kami! I'm trying to poop here!"   
  
"No, you aren't. You're just sitting on your ass waiting for hell to freeze over."   
  
And Naruto remembered that Kakashi had the Sharingan. Was it possible that Kakashi could see through walls? And if it was possible, was it possible that Kakashi was peeping? "Ack! PERVERT! PERVERT SENSEI!" he cried, jumping off the toilet to throw the door open and slam that stupid pervert's face in...   
  
"Sasuke?!"   
  
A frown.   
  
"You're unusually observant, dobe. We're leaving."   
  
"Shut up!"   
  
Shoving his hands into his pockets, Sasuke turned on his heel to walk out of the house.   
  
"...Wait a sec! I'm the one with the fiancé! You can't leave without me!"   
  
Sasuke ignored him, but smiled silently in sadistic pleasure. He loved to tease the little blond.   
  
"O-oi! Wait up!" Naruto exclaimed, forced to reach for something to hold onto as he almost tripped over his own feet. Luckily, he was able to catch the hem of Sasuke's shirt, sending both of them down on the floor in a rising cloud of dust. Sasuke was barely able to get out an exasperated "idiot!" before getting caught in a fit of uncontrollable coughing.   
  
Kami-sama. It seemed that Naruto didn't have the decency to clean his house either.   
  
Ah, Sasuke could just see the headlines now: "Blond boy dies of Black Lung in his own house."   
  
Alas, Sasuke's humorous fantasies were cut short as he realized was position he was with Naruto. Naruto was on top of him, his head just to the left of Sasuke's chest, his two legs straddling Sasuke's right knee, just inches away from touching the dark-haired boy _there_. And Sasuke's inner self was practically shrieking in his head while a hot blush spread rapidly across his face.   
  
"...N-Naru-" was all Sasuke managed to squeeze out before he saw the fox frantically scrambling to get back up, the small delicate hands pounding down on his chest in a movement that sent Sasuke's breath rushing out of his lungs. The dark-haired boy was _trying_ to hide his beet red face, for he was sure that if Naruto saw him, he'd never live long enough to kill his brother. First, his feelings would be rejected, and then, he'd be taunted by everyone in the village, and he didn't want to imagine what the fangirls would do. In the end, he'd commit suicide. He was sure of it.   
  
With a shake of his head and a twitch of his leg, Sasuke jumped up and threw Naruto back on the ground, panting as though his very soul had been sucked out of his body and shoved back in, and he could do nothing but stare at the shorter boy in front of him, wondering what it would be like to have that soft delicate flesh touch his...   
  
_Dammit, why am I thinking like this?!_   
  
_I thought the answer was evident a while ago._   
  
Inner Sasuke was part of Sasuke, so Sasuke knew exactly what inner Sasuke was thinking.   
  
_....No. I don't.... He's an idiot. He's obnoxious, loud, and stupid. He's a boy! There's no way I could... I don't... He's a fuckin' boy! He's... He's..._   
  
_...cute?_   
  
"Damn..." Naruto murmured as he brought his hand up to rub the back of his head. "Why'd you have go to and do that?"   
  
"Let's hurry along, now. Or are you too tired after your escapade in the bathroom?" was Sasuke's cold and fluent remark. Dammit, how could he stay so cool after almost being groped?!   
  
The fox's jaw clenched in sudden fury. First, the boy had knocked him down to the ground, then he had completely ignored him and used him as a stepper to get back up, and _now_ he was _insulting_ him! Dammit, Sasuke was sometimes so self-centered...   
  
"It was your fault in the first place, you bastard!"   
  
"I seem to recall that you tripped yourself."   
  
Yes. He did.   
  
"You pushed me back down!"   
  
"Because it was your fault in the first place, dobe."   
  
"Well you could've at least helped me back up..."   
  
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Sometimes you can be so self-centered. Let's just go."   
  
And he walked away, leaving a stunned and utterly shocked Naruto.   
  
Oh no he di'in't!   
  
_Grr..._   
  
Oh yes he did!   
  
His hands balled up into tight and almost bloody fists, Naruto got up and ran outside.   
  
After he got married, he would make sure Sasuke died a slow and painful death.   
  
--Okay. Enough. I'm sure you're sick of the stalling. "Progress with the story!" The authoress hears them shrieking. Let's skip ahead a couple hours, shall we? Fast forward... Here.-   
  
"Sasuke...." he groaned, digging his hands into the taller boy's hair.   
  
And came the husky whisper that spread hot across his neck, "Say my name like that again... Naruto..."   
  
--Whoa! Hey! Too far ahead! Rewind! Yes. Here.-   
  
"Well," the pervert sensei declared, setting his hands on his hips as he beheld the gargantuan village before him. "This is the place. Valence Village."   
  
The three genin blinked.   
  
And, interrupting the silence, Sakura pointed ahead and asked as a matter-of-factly, "Hey... Does this place look familiar to you?"   
  
And Kakashi replied with a blatant, "No."   
  
~~~   
  
Okay, so all I really managed to accomplish was Sasuke's true feelings of angst and them getting to Valence Village. Damn, that really isn't saying much at all. ^^;;   
  



	3. And Mary Sue comes in THE NIIIGHT!

Warning: Clichéness. OOCness. SasuNaru, bashing of Sasuke's character, possibly tasteless humor, and LEMONZZ BWAHAHAAHAHA-okay, probably not but... Let's hope!! *crosses fingers*   
  
Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Masashi Kishimoto and his assistants rawk, yo.   
  
**Chapter Revised: 2/5/04**   
  
~~~**Chapter Three: And Mary Sue comes in THE NIIIGHT!!!**   
  
"...You sure about this, Kaeru-baba?"   
  
The old woman sighed, bringing down her dark hood to reveal her whitening hair. This must've been the sixth time within the last five minutes she had been asked that tedious question. You sure about this and you sure about that-- That was approximately one question every 50 seconds. How many times did she have to go over this?   
  
"Yes, Rasuke, I'm sure about this."   
  
"But how can you be? I mean, a bell?"   
  
A sigh. Rasuke's mother-in-law had been sent to deliver the bell to the hidden leaf village, and everyone had agreed that the bell would be the most effective way to pick a marriage partner, but Rasuke still doubted the validity of what seemed to be such a useless trinket. There wasn't anything inside the hollow metal of the bell. How could anyone hear it unless daft or mad with horrid illnesses such as mad cow disease, rabies, and many other animal transferred diseases which the authoress is unable to recall or identify?   
  
The old woman sighed. Now there needed to be a semi-long and mysterious explanation of what the bell could do. Another sigh.   
  
"It can't be wrong. It's the bell of..."   
  
The old woman paused as she racked her brain for a mysterious, yet mystical title-- essential for _any_ seemingly useless trinket that played a part in a mystic feudalistic plot.   
  
"..._time rain_..."   
  
Hell yeah. Progress.   
  
"The Bell of Time Rain has been passed down as an ancient relic from your ancestors."-- not mentioning who those ancestors might be-- "It only rings when it finds someone suitable to be married to someone of your clan."-- not mentioning which clan that might be...   
  
"But, Kaeru-baba..." Rasuke pondered, pouting as the old woman whipped a pink bow from the rough linen her back apron pocket. Pink against black was such a blinding contrast, Kaeru was happy to get it out of her pocket and into Rasuke's hair. "I thought the bell didn't work or something... Isn't that why they stopped using it?"   
  
"You are the last of your clan, Rasuke," she replied with a knowing smile, tying the silken bow in the shorter child's shiny black hair. "I don't think there will be any mix-ups this time around."  
  
The final knot was tied. The pink bow glowed like a flower among weeds.   
  
"In fact, I'm sure of it. Get up, Rasuke, and look at your reflection!" she chided.   
  
Excitedly, the dark-haired Rasuke jumped up from the pink stool, which skidded halfway across the room in a deafening screech, and Rasuke ran towards the mirror, glowing with pride as the dress spun and spun around the delicate feminine legs. With a final wink to the mirror, Rasuke ran back to Kaeru-baba and gave a happy nod.   
  
He was ready to meet his fiancé.   
  
~~~   
  
"Yooooshi!" the blond boy shouted, rotating his arms around him as he took his first step into this Valence Village. Taking extra care not to hit any of the villagers, he ran with an exuberant cry across the road of upturned dust.   
  
Slowly rotating his own shoulders, Kakashi calmly walked after the boy, promptly followed by Sakura and Sasuke. The team received many menacing glares and stares from the people of the village. The butcher's eyes went red, the women held their children close, and several hooded men gathered in defense. It was as though the village knew not the meaning of shinobi, or hated shinobi to the point of changes in eyecolor.   
  
"Maa... You'd think they'd never seen shinobi before..." mused Sakura as she nervously looked back and forth between the villagers.   
  
She neglected to avoid running into a large hooded man.   
  
"Ah! S-sorry..." she spurted, looking up at the man she had bumped into. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers as she saw the blood red eyes burning down at her.   
  
His size was enormous, imposing, and as intimidating as a bear protecting its children. His silver hair shimmered in the sunlight, and his eyes glittered with confidence and vanity. He was, to say the least, pretty. Sakura probably would have mistook the man for a woman had it not been for the flat chest.   
  
The man smiled kindly at her, his eyes glittering with a happy and delighted air. It seemed no hard was done. Sakura smiled back in confirmation, and the longhaired man attained a serious expression, lifting his head to look at Kakashi.   
  
"Are you the hidden leaf shinobi for whom we sent?" he asked, his voice low and soft.   
  
The jounin was speechless for a moment. He blinked at the other man as though that action were confirmation enough that they were in fact the shinobi had been sent for. But the other man made no move or reply, still waiting for one from the scarecrow.   
  
"Yes," Sasuke finally interjected, warily eyeing the longhaired man. "...And you are?"   
  
"...Joel," was his simple reply, returning Sasuke's glare with a smug look of his own. "I am the brother of the one whose fiancé you sought." He relayed a hand.   
  
Kakashi seemed to snap out of his daze as he reached out to shake Joel's hand, fake grins instantly gracing both men's faces. All seemed well and good. Everything was going to plan. There had been no surprises... until Joel bent down and closed his eyes, softly pressing his lips against Kakashi's hand.   
  
All three shinobi blushed.   
  
Even Sasuke.   
  
_Especially_ Sasuke.   
  
"Eh..." Kakashi began, bringing his free hand to scratch the nape of his neck in embarrassment. "That really isn't necessary..."   
  
"Sasuke-kun..." Sakura whispered, gently grasping her companion's sleeve. "What's that guy doing to Kakashi...?"   
  
Pausing, Sasuke replied, "I think he's kissing his hand..."   
  
"...Oh, okay..." Sakura nodded. "Just checking..."   
  
After a few moments, the silver-haired man lifted his head and gave a broad smile.   
  
"...Welcome to Valence Village."   
  
His eyes wandered down to Sasuke, grinning as he saw the little boy squirm in discomfort.   
  
He reached for Sasuke's hand.   
  
"Are you the boy who will marry my brother?"   
  
"No," Sasuke spat out, jerking his hand away from Joel and pointing at the blond boy dancing down the street. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was right to let anyone know that Naruto was the fiancé. After all, it wasn't his place, and something inside him was reluctant to let Naruto go...   
  
"I'm not the one..."   
  
He swallowed, steadying his finger.   
  
"_He_ is."   
  
"Ah."   
  
Joel sounded disappointed.   
  
"The princess has arrived!" one of the villagers shouted.   
  
They turned.   
  
Naruto's face lit up in joy.   
  
Something clenched in Sasuke's chest.   
  
From behind the door peered two shining black eyes, like shining black coals, and the princess walked out. Her dress was a pale pink, and a pink bow was tied in her shining, shoulder-length, black hair. A bell dangled loosely from her neck, jingling in the silence that had taken over them. A light smile graced her lips, for she was actually a he, and he knew he had captivated all who set eyes upon him. His eyes focused on the blond boy in front of him.   
  
_This one has something about him. I cannot put my finger upon it. Probably something about his demonic chakra, but I don't notice it._   
  
"Rasuke."   
  
He turned to Joel.   
  
"Brother..." the girly boy muttered, narrowing his eyes.   
  
"The shinobi have arrived."   
  
"Is it by chance the blond one?"   
  
Joel lowered his head in a nod.   
  
"Yes. He is the one for whom you searched."   
  
"Hi!" Naruto greeted noisily, one hand waving frantically in the air. "My name is Naruto!"   
  
Kakashi slapped his forehead in embarrassment.   
  
Rasuke felt himself smile. He felt his feet move below him without his consent as though compelled to draw closer to Naruto. He reached his hand out.   
  
"My name is Rasuke."   
  
Naruto took his hand graciously. And Rasuke brought the delicate fingers of the fox up to his face, gazing at them, mesmerized. Something was drawing him desperately to this boy, and, for a moment, he laughed at the thought that the bells were right in their fortune telling.   
  
"Please..." he whispered, closing his eyes and parting his lips...   
  
He brushed his lips against Naruto's hand.   
  
A blush.   
  
"The pleasure is all mine..."   
  
Naruto blushed even further. He wanted to look around. He wanted to stop. This was embarrassing! But he wanted to watch. The feeling was so foreign. It wasn't unpleasant. It was strange. It felt different. It felt...   
  
Hot.   
  
Meanwhile, black eyes quickly turned red with sharingan.   
  
_What's he doing?!_   
  
_He's touching **my** Naruto!_   
  
_Kill! Kill!_   
  
"DON'T TOUCH H-"   
  
"Rasuke, that's enough," Joel interrupted.   
  
Naruto and Rasuke pulled away immediately, both of their faces glowing red.   
  
"I-I'm sorry..." Rasuke muttered, turning away. _Kuso! I almost lost control! Stupid brother! Damn demon! If only the kage of my village hadn't sealed a demon inside me when I was but a toddler!_ "I-I have to go now..." he whispered, turning away.   
  
A hand stopped him.   
  
"Na-Naruto-kun...?"   
  
The blue eyes bore into his black ones.   
  
"Will you marry me?"   
  
A tear rolled down Rasuke's flawless cheek. His life's dream was to be loved by someone, for he had always been hated by the members of his village as the demon, and not as Rasuke. It seemed as though Naruto knew his never-ending pain. His dark lips curled up into a smile, finally finding bliss in love, and he threw himself into the fox's arms.   
  
"Yes, Naruto..." He sniffled. "I will..."   
  
Warm arms wrapped around his back, and he began to sob.   
  
--What's left of the audience begins to blink rapidly.--   
  
"I'm leaving," was Sasuke's bland remark. And with that, the dark-haired shinobi turned on his heel and walked away. He was pulled back by Kakashi, though, and he began to growl in frustration. He didn't want to see this progress any further. He had no idea why. Goodness, he was just a well of jumbled and confused thoughts. And what was with that mental interjection back there? Had he just called Naruto _his_?   
  
"So when's the wedding gonna be?" Sakura asked, happy that Naruto could finally be happy with someone who was happy to be with him. Now she wouldn't be bothered with Naruto's wooing antics, and she also wouldn't have to feel guilty for turning the blond boy down.   
  
Joel and his brother exchanged quick glances.   
  
"This evening," Joel finally replied with a smile.   
  
Sasuke whipped around. "What?!"   
  
"The wedding will be this evening. If that is okay with Rasuke and the boy."   
  
"Of course!" the two lovers shouted gleefully.   
  
That meant Sasuke really had to leave. Now. Not later. Not earlier. And not this evening! It wasn't fair! He wasn't sure _what_ wasn't fair, but...   
  
Whatever. It didn't matter. As long as he didn't have to attend the wedding, he was fine with it.   
  
"And the shinobi should want to attend the wedding as well?"   
  
"Sure," Kakashi replied.   
  
_Fuck._   
  
And suddenly, a hooded figure stepped out of the house. Her blue eyes glowed from beneath the black cloth as she spoke.   
  
"Allow me to apologize."   
  
_The woman from last night..._   
  
She pulled down the hood just a bit, allowing a tuft of white hair to show itself.   
  
"I had told you that the boy's mother and aunt would be here. Unfortunately, there is no blood family here."   
  
A nod of understanding.   
  
"Blatantly asking for a fiancé is too suspicious, so..."   
  
"Right. We made it up."   
  
"Your intentions seem clear, though."   
  
"Thank you for your understanding." The woman bowed. "I am Kaeru. And I would be happy to be Naruto's mother."   
  
"In law."   
  
"The wedding will be the evening, as Joel has told you." Kaeru smiled. "In the meantime, feel free to look around the village. We will prepare for the wedding until then. Should you need a guide, ask any of the villagers for help." And with a bow, she grabbed the boys by the shoulders and pulled them back into the building. Joel took one look back and followed them.   
  
...Silence.   
  
~~~   
  
"You IDIOT!" the genius genin shrieked, the smoke exploding from his ears in atomic mushroom clouds of frustration.   
  
Sasuke said nothing.   
  
"I take my eyes off you for one second...One effin' second!"   
  
Sasuke felt himself being grabbed by the collar of his shirt.   
  
"And now Naruto is going to be marrying a boy from another village! Do you realize the magnitude of your idiotic and utterly ignorant acts?! There are consequences to letting the boy of your dreams get away, Uchiha! Dire ones! And there are worse consequences to letting the boy of _your friend's_ dreams elope in another village! You imbecile!"   
  
The other boy shot Neji a dark glare before shoving their bodies apart. Scornfully, he exhaled, bringing his shoulders to hug his neck in a defensive stance against Neji.   
  
"We are not friends, Hyuuga. We merely occupy the same village. Do not put the blame on me for letting the idiot _you loved_ find _his_ love."   
  
A prick to both their hearts.   
  
"I seem to recall that you loved him as well, Uchiha."   
  
"...You remember incorrectly."   
  
And the avenger cringed in the bloody pool of his own bitter denial.   
  
"I cannot love. I am an avenger. Love does nothing but hinder my revenge. I cannot waste my time with an idiot like Naruto. I-"   
  
"Bullshit!" Neji cried, turning sharply towards the younger shinobi, spitting poison from his cold, dry lips. He was tired of Sasuke's ignorance and incompetence, but Sasuke continued the charade nonetheless. He gritted his teeth.   
  
"I _hate_ him..."   
  
Both of them could hear Neji's ragged breathing.   
  
A chuckle.   
  
"...Who do you hate, Uchiha?"   
  
Neji was testing the certainty of his emotions.   
  
"I hate Na..."   
  
Neji stepped back.   
  
"Naruto-"   
  
A fist slammed against the flawless pale face.   
  
_It's not true..._   
  
"Your stupidity disgusts me, Uchiha."   
  
The genius was barely able to block a kick aimed at his face(1). Thick pulsing veins surged from his byakugan eyes, and he almost gasped in surprise.   
  
_Sharingan?!_   
  
"...Take that back, Hyuuga."   
  
Another kick, and Neji blocked, quickly rolling his arms around the fragile legs and shoving his hands into Uchiha's chest. Sasuke was sent falling backwards, landing his palms on the sidewalk, and flipping his body to regain control of his feet. Neji jumped away before Sasuke could kick him in the face.   
  
"I hate Naruto. I always have. I always will," Sasuke slowly said, jumping to his feet.   
  
"Liar," Neji hissed, stepping backwards as the other boy approached.   
  
He jumped at the other boy with a crescent kick. Sasuke ducked, barely blocking Neji's follow-through kick. When he was out of Neji's range, he turned back around and found himself backed to a tree. Neji was running towards him with hands ready.   
  
Sasuke blocked Neji's first hit, gripping the genius' arm and bringing his right leg around for a spinning back kick. To his disappointment, his leg came in contact with the back of Neji's forearm. He narrowed his eyes scornfully.   
  
"...Why are you so angry, anyway? Don't you want the idiot for yourself?"   
  
"Shut up."   
  
Neji turned full circle with an aim to elbow Sasuke's back, but Sasuke's leg swept below him, sending him stumbling backwards in an effort to keep his balance. He was just barely able to stop another set of kicks from the Uchiha with his forearms.   
  
"I want him to be happy."   
  
A swift chop hit the air.   
  
"Well, he seemed happy with his fiancé. Is that good enough?"   
  
A kick. A flip. Chop. Block. Sweep. Flip. Punch. Flip.   
  
His loose black ponytail followed him, and he found the will to smirk.   
  
"I think the question is, Uchiha: Is it good enough for you?"   
  
A drumbeat rang out, almost like a hearbeat.   
  
Furiously, Sasuke ground his teeth together, holding back the scream that threatened to pour out of his mouth.   
  
"What are you implying?"   
  
"You know exactly what I'm implying! Do you really think he's going to be happy with a brat he just met today? I don't believe in love at first sight-"   
  
"Despite all the destiny crap?"   
  
"-And I'm sure you don't believe in love at first sight either."   
  
There was a silence.   
  
Sasuke hesitated-- self-admittance and the will to contradict whatever Neji said... Both options would leave another to bite away at his pride. His fists tightened. Does one believe in love at first sight?   
  
"...I do believe in love at first sight."   
  
Neji rolled his eyes.   
  
"Puh-lease."   
  
...Okay. Let's ignore that strangely girlish comment and move on.   
  
And Sasuke merely glared in malice, having experienced Cupid's arrow for himself. He knew what it was like to be love struck, for he was in love with a certain blond loudmouth ninja, and it was the worst, not to mention uncontrollable, decision of his life. It wasn't Neji's place to question the validity of his feelings.   
  
Luckily, Neji seemed to understand, though disbelief was painted in his pale white eyes. All memories of the fight had been wiped from his brain, and he seemed all but aware of what was going on.   
  
"...Y-you...?"   
  
Sasuke was silent.   
  
Defeat showered over the older boy's expression.   
  
"...I see."   
  
If Naruto was truly in love with the foreign boy named Rasuke, then all his efforts, all his mocking of Sasuke, all their quarrels, and all the money he spent on buying Naruto ramen-- it would be useless, wasted-- thrown down the toilet and bred with the goldfish. He had always thought about what would happen in the future if Naruto would return his feelings and they should get married, make love, _somehow_ have children, and torture Sasuke with the fact for the rest of eternity.   
  
But something in the back of Neji's mind told him that he and Naruto weren't destined to be. Naruto seemed to have no intention of getting close him. What was done was done. It was so long ago that he had fought against Naruto and met his match, met his savior. And it seemed that he was not going to be a significant part of Naruto's life. He was merely thrown to the side like some rag doll in a cast of supporting side characters.   
  
He would watch Sasuke from afar. He would relish in the poor boy's struggle with his own feelings. He knew how lost Sasuke was-- He had been lost himself when Naruto came along, but he had also been found the moment Naruto crashed through the earth and sent the fist sailing into his chin. Sasuke had been with Naruto for so long, and yet the sharingan user was still confused.   
  
And Neji realized that Sasuke needed Naruto much more than he did.   
  
"...Sasuke," he finally whispered, almost smiling at the other boy's startled expression. With an exasperated sigh, he walked back over to the bench, the bench where he would always bother Sasuke about his feelings, and he plopped himself on his butt, lifting his head to look at the sky.   
  
If Rasuke and Naruto loved one another, then all would be lost.   
  
But this is fanfiction, so, obviously, that isn't going to happen.   
  
"Sasuke, where is this village again?"   
  
Sasuke lifted an inquisitive brow. "It's just south of here. Why do you ask?"   
  
Sasuke was stupider than he thought.   
  
"We're going to crash the wedding."   
  
A pause.   
  
"Duh."   
  
~~~   
  
THEENDTHEENDTHEEEEEEEEND of the chapter.   
  
I really don't like this chapter. Too many mood swings. Like the story is PMSing or something to that purpose. And the fighting scene was too short. Aw. Sorry I took so long to get this chapter out! I tried to make it... not... suck... But ALAS... I need to characterize Neji better. His character is all over the place.   
  
(1) I really don't know anything about fighting. I take wushu, which is more like dancing than fighting, but I really like the old Chinese martial arts movies (especially Drunken Master-- Jackie Chan is my favorite!), so I wanted to include a fighting scene. Forgive the suckage...^^:   
  
Next chapter: What's this?! Sasuke and Neji plan to crash the wedding, but Naruto has some objections of his own!!! Probably. I dunno. Crap. I really am the worst authoress ever.   
  



	4. Fuck We're dumbasses

Disclaimer: Fanfiction. Duh.   
  
Warning: Clichéness, SasuNaru, sex, boobs, possibly crude humor, simple language, incompetent authoress, NejiNaru, OCNaru, OOCness, and crappiness in general.   
  
OMG!! @____@ Reviews! Thank you so much everyone who reviewed! You don't know how much your reviews mean to me~ *sobs* I really suck, and I know all y'all are avoiding criticizing me because you're afraid you'll hurt my feelings... ;___; *glomps y'all*   
  
~~~**Chapter Four: Fuck. We're dumbasses.**   
  
Sifting silently through the streets of Valence, the two dark-haired shinobi had easily avoided detection from the shinobi-deprived villagers. When somebody turned, the two cardboard boxes would immediately drop, and it would seem like the street was completely empty. When that somebody turned back to their business, the cardboard boxes would lift, and tiny sandaled feet would scurry once again across the dusty dirt path.   
  
They scurried stealthily through the marketplace like two mice under the rug. Neji found it strange that there were no males in this village. Everyone was either in a dress or in a dark robe, and Neji had yet to find a man in one of those dark mysterious robes.   
  
Suddenly, Neji ordered Sasuke to stop, and they both dropped their boxes with a subtle plop. Sasuke refused to cough as the dirt proceeded to lift and fill up the entire box. He waited for Neji's order to move again, but it seemed as though the other boy was looking at something.   
  
He peered through the two eyeholes carved in his cardboard box.   
  
And right in front of them on the dusty dirt path-- a basket of fruit, the skin of the oranges shimmering in the bright sun. Under the basket, the ground seemed to be freshly unearthed, as though someone had laid a trap there...   
  
Sasuke looked to Neji, whom seemed to be in deep thought.   
  
"What is it?" Sasuke asked, rather agitated at the other boy's silence.   
  
Neji kept his stare glued to the basket of fruit.   
  
Someone had laid a trap here-- a very crude trap, but there'd be more. It seemed as though someone were trying to stop their trek to their destination. It seemed as though someone didn't want them to come to the wedding, and that someone obviously had no shinobi tactic at all. Even Naruto wouldn't do something this stupid, but judging by the traces of silver hair and perfume left behind...   
  
His pale white eyes narrowed.   
  
"He knows."   
  
Hurriedly, they scurried past the basket of fruit.   
  
But in their haste, they were unable to detect the trap laid right beside the previous one.   
  
~~~ (that means a scene change)   
  
They sat in a dark and shady room. Sasuke sat glaring at the man whom had caught them. Neji simply looked off to the side. In the corner of the room was a lone pipe dripping with black oil, forming a dark puddle on the cold floor beneath it. This place was reminiscent of a dungeon. An occasional rat would scamper by Neji's vision and into a crack in the wall. If he had cared to use his byakugan, he would've seen the filthy mass of rats hidden just beyond that wall.   
  
He turned back to his captor.   
  
He had long silver hair drooped past his shoulders and blood red eyes that could penetrate a brick wall. He sat on a cheaply made folding chair, his arms crossed as he frowned at the two genins.   
  
The silence was soon broken as Joel gave a loud sigh.   
  
"...You're never going to stop the wedding that way."   
  
Neji raised an eyebrow.   
  
"And why not?"   
  
Joel raised an eyebrow in return.   
  
"You know _exactly_ what I mean."   
  
Sasuke looked confused. He hadn't been introduced to the specifics of the plan. For some reason, Neji had them both hide under cardboard boxes while sneaking around the village. There were no shinobi forces in the village, and they had been invited anyway, so it puzzled the Uchiha heir that they had to sneak in, but he didn't press the matter then.   
  
"What is he talking about, Hyuuga?"   
  
Neji frowned, absolutely refusing to answer.   
  
Joel said, "There are two floors in the wedding hall. The first floor is for the men, and the second floor is for the guests and women. The wedding takes place on the first floor."   
  
A pause.   
  
"In essence, there's no way you'll be able to get close to your loud little friend."   
  
A large blade jabbed itself into Sasuke's heart as he slowly, but surely processed this information-- He wouldn't be able to see Naruto until after the wedding. He probably wouldn't be able to see Naruto after the wedding either with that clingy fiancé of his. He might've never been able to speak with the blond ninja again!   
  
"So why are you speaking to us about this? I don't assume you'd be willing to help us with this whole ordeal, would you?"   
  
"In fact, I am."   
  
"..." Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.   
  
"...What do you mean by that?"   
  
"I'm an adopted member of Rasuke's family. I am not related to him in blood. Because of this, I don't inherit the family's money unless my brother dies. I can't have him get married, or he'll automatically receive the estate. And I'm assuming neither of you want your friend to get married?"   
  
The two genin looked down at themselves. Neither of them wanted that. And after this pause of consideration--   
  
"So how do I get on the first floor?" the two shinobi simultaneously blurted.   
  
Joel then grinned a wicked grin-- a grin like the ones the businessmen get when they finally close a good deal, a grin like Kakashi got when he was reading his naughty and indecent books.   
  
"...Dress up as men," he said.   
  
And Neji said, "But how? All we've seen are robed women and people in dresses..."   
  
He paused for a moment, carefully contemplating what he just said.   
  
"...Oh HELL NO."   
  
~~~   
  
And the two young cross dressers scurried across the dirt path, the longer haired one occasionally tripping over his long blue dress. Sasuke was actually very graceful in his steps, though it had much to do with the fact that he was wearing nothing but a white dress and some knee socks (he refused to wear high heels, unlike Neji, and his hair had to be forced down to his shoulders to avoid anyone recognizing him). As he skipped daintily to the wedding hall, he silently wondered about things that a little boy shouldn't have been wondering about...   
  
_I wonder if I look as pretty as I feel..._   
  
_What would Naruto think of me? Maybe he'd like me better in a dress?_   
  
And he found himself blushing as he imagined what Naruto's reaction would be...   
  
_"Sasuke?! What the hell?!_   
  
_"You... You look kinda cute, actually..."_   
  
_"Sasuke, you look very sexy in that skirt..."_   
  
_"Sasuke, that skirt looks so tight on you. Let me help you out of it..."_   
  
Passionately, he slapped his red hot blushing cheeks, frowning with an anger as powerful as the flames of the sun. No. That was wrong. He didn't like Naruto at all. He was merely going to crash the party because... He probably wanted to beat the crap outta Naruto. That's right. He cross dressed because he wanted to kick the crap outta Naruto, now shut up about it!   
  
It turned out that Sasuke was very good at being a woman. In fact, one would wonder why the Uchiha heir didn't wear dresses more often.   
  
When they finally reached the wedding hall entrance, two sinister robed women loomed there to greet them. As they stood to block the door leading inside, Neji and Sasuke paused, trying to look as innocent as possible.   
  
Neji was first to speak.   
  
"May we pass?"   
  
The women glanced at each other, their eyes glittering in some sort of unspoken accord. Like a pair of vultures, they turned towards the young ones and monotonously asked, "What's the password?"   
  
"What do we do now, genius?" Sasuke remarked out of the side of his mouth.   
  
"Um...uh..."   
  
"Well?" the women asked. "What's your answer?"   
  
"Um..."   
  
This was it. They were gonna be caught.   
  
"Soup?" Neji finally answered, quirking an innocent eyebrow.   
  
They smiled like a pair of crows.   
  
Before an answer could be given, Neji used his AWESOME byakugan moves and knocked out both women. After smoke could be seen rising from both their corpses, he puffed out his chest, flipped his long dark hair behind him, and flashed a dashing smile-- a little trick he had learned from Gai-sensei. Sasuke gave some weak applause.   
  
They were in.   
  
~~~   
  
And the wedding was well underway.   
  
The priest, fully dressed in his long holy attire, stood solemnly behind the wedding stand, his head lowered to regard the pages of his holy little book. Pushing his glasses up his nose, he quietly began turning in circles in boredom. When would the bride arrive?   
  
Naruto nervously adjusted his bowtie. Wasn't he a bit young to get married? He hadn't even lost his virginity yet. He hadn't even kissed Rasuke yet. But then again, if people had sex before marriage, what was to stop marriage before sex? Or was it the other way around? Naruto was just so confused, he didn't really know!   
  
Kakashi didn't help much, either. As best man, he did his part by standing next to the wedding stand reading from _Icha Icha Paradise._ Naruto would often tug at Kakashi's shoulder only to be acknowledged with a happily gay giggle from behind the mask. And so all the boy could do was wait.   
  
The entire hall went silent as the priest suddenly cleared his throat.   
  
"Let us begin."   
  
~~~   
  
Meanwhile, Neji and Sasuke were lost.   
  
"...Soup."   
  
"I _told_ you that was the password!"   
  
"I seem to recall no such thing!"   
  
"Hmph. And now we're lost. Lost and in dresses." Sasuke grabbed his face in sudden despair. "What if Naruto gets married without me?!"   
  
"What do you mean 'without you'?! Then he'll get married to _me_, obviously!"   
  
The genius struck a pose, clearly having hung around Lee and Gai for too long.   
  
"It is our destiny!"   
  
"You are _not_ going to run on about your shared destiny with Naruto. You _shall not._"   
  
"No! I think I shall!"   
  
Their conversation was interrupted.   
  
"Ah! There you are, Princess!" someone chided.   
  
"Huh?"   
  
And Sasuke suddenly felt himself lifted in strong arms. As he lifted his head in embarrassment, he realized that he was being carried by one of the natives-- it was a large chubby women wearing a robe.   
  
"Are you lost, Princess?" she asked happily, constantly hugging Sasuke to her enormous boobs.   
  
Blushing, Sasuke slowly nodded. Whatever he was being mistaken for, it was to his advantage. He shouldn't complain.   
  
Besides-- Boobs.   
  
"Then I shall carry you to the wedding hall! Let's go!"   
  
And the "princess" was then carried away.   
  
~~~   
  
Silently, the crowd watched in awe as the dapper young man walked to the back of the room, placing his hands upon the rusty brass handles and thrusting the gargantuan doors open like an ant carrying fifty times his own weight-- only it was much more magnificent and majestic. Their anticipation was met.   
  
The princess stepped out.   
  
He wore a long white dress and an adorable blush on his cheeks. His expression was almost dazed as someone gently shoved him from behind onto the red velvet carpet. The room was in absolute silence as two small five-year old boys came out from behind him, clumsily grasping the flowers from their baskets and throwing them into the air. The white petals came dancing down in a marvelous show of purity.   
  
And, when he reached the end of the hallway, there awaited his love-- the short little blond boy who always was a bundle of sunshine. It took him an eternity to find himself back in reality.   
  
"...take Uzumaki Naruto to be your lawful wedded wife?" said the severely confused and senile priest.   
  
Holding his bouquet of flowers to his chest, he whispered blissfully, "I do..."   
  
"And do you, Uzumaki Naruto, take the princess, Uchiha Rasuke to be your lawful wedded husband?"   
  
_Uchiha Rasuke--?!_   
  
And that's when Sasuke realized what was happening.   
  
With a triumphant grin, the fox replied, "I do!"   
  
The priest closed his book with a plop. "Then I now pronounce you wife and husband. You may now kiss the bride."   
  
But before he could mutter a word of protest, Naruto grabbed the taller boy by the shoulders and almost hypnotized the Uchiha heir with his warm blue eyes.   
  
Sasuke forgot all about what was happening.   
  
In a split second, Sasuke found himself leaning down to seal the shorter boy's lips with his own. And, oh, the shocking tingle through every piece and pore of his body, the feeling of all his bones giving way and melting to a simple touch of the skin...   
  
Dammit, he was in love.   
  
Again.   
  
Still.   
  
Suddenly, a loud cry rang out in the wedding hall-- "You've got the wrong person!"   
  
Pulling away, the Uchiha heir turned to find the one true rival in his hot pursuit of Naruto's behind, the one person who understood his feelings, the only person to awaken such feelings of hatred and jealousy...   
  
"Neji?!"   
  
YES.   
  
~~~   
  
I NEVER do what I say in those chapter previews. Ah well. I like this outcome better, ne? Yes, Rasuke is an UCHIHA. HAHA. And you know what THAT means... he is Sasuke's long lost cousin!! The Mary-Sue-ness continues! Lol... That unnecessary "yes" at the end just did this chapter in, didn't it?   
  
There WAS a segment of interaction between Rasuke and Naruto... but I thought, "This is a SasuNaru fic! Not a RasuNaru PWP!" And so I tried to fit in as little OC interaction as possible. Now you must wonder where Rasuke and Sakura are...   
  
Bishiehuggler - I luff your reviews... And I felt so bad that Rasuke wasn't Sasuke in a dress that I decided that I had to make it up to everyone.   
  
someone - Yes, I know Gary-Stu is male Mary-Sue, but... Rasuke seemed to fit the stereotype of Mary-Sue much better than Gary-Stu, which I feel is generally more boyish and... not in a dress... XP   
  
Next chapter: I have no idea whatsoever. Probably sex.   
  



	5. Anyone Notice How Gay We Are?

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. No matter how many times I deny it and order to molest and conduct sexy treacheries.  
  
Warning: This fic has plunged downhill into teh suck. And that's about it.  
  
Okay, so, where had we left off? SasuNaru make-out scene? Of course-- Ha ha... Psyche. If you're ever confused, just pretend it makes sense, are we cool? Sweet. Let's get started.  
  
**Chapter Five: Anyone Notice How Gay We Are?**  
  
"Yes! That's right! I, Uchiha Rasuke, am, in fact, a survivor of the Uchiha clan! The last survivor after _Itachi_ had slain them all!" The girly dark-haired boy in a wedding dress promptly clawed his fingers into his head while suffering from the overwhelming angst.  
  
Sasuke, with an unconscious Naruto slung over his shoulder, gave Rasuke an inquisitive look. "Fuck no. I'm the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan, not you."  
  
A pause. A girlish scoff from the other boy. You know what a valley girl is? It was like that. Rasuke rolled his eyes. "Uh... News flash! I was saved from the slaughter by something called _plot device_? And I've suffered from loneliness and poverty ever since!"   
  
"You're princess of an entire village. How can you be lonely and poor?"  
  
"Um--errr-- Yes, but I'm still lonely deep inside!! All the girls are after me, but I am not interested in them!"  
  
"And you're interested in Naruto... why?"  
  
"Yes, 'cause he feels my pain and loneliness and I can tell by the look in his eyes!!"  
  
Neji rolled his eyes at the other's stupidity. "Well, get in line. I want Naruto, too."  
  
Rasuke paused, opening his mouth to say something. Then he pouted as though reconsidering his words. Clear inner turmoil was written on his feminine features. "But he's willingly engaged to me," he finally said, grinning in pride. "And--! We are bound by the accuracy of the Bell of Time Rain!!"  
  
Sasuke gasped in shock! That horribly inaccurate fortune-telling trinket his grandmother had molded out of dry clay? Naruto could've been meant for anyone in the clan if that thing had been used!! Including him...  
  
Including him.  
  
Okay, so, sorting through this, this stupid trinket made by Sasuke's grandmother could choose a mate for anyone within the Uchiha clan. Assuming the candidates had to be alive, that left only three people Naruto could have been meant for.  
  
1. Uchiha Sasuke  
2. Uchiha Itachi  
3. Uchiha Rasuke  
  
Right off the bat, us readers can tell that Naruto was thrown into this fanfic with the intention of falling in love with Itachi, so I guess we can end this--  
  
Before Rasuke could utter another revelation of his long and angsty past, Sasuke had run off with Naruto's body slung over his shoulder without a word. When Neji realized the Uchiha had left, he decidedly ran after them. Rasuke felt it the opportune moment to show off some of his expert Japanese skills! "_Oi! Chotto matte kudasai desu yo_!"(1) he shouted, following the other boys to whatever their destination may be.  
  
His spiky black hair billowing dramatically from the wind, Uchiha Sasuke-kun leaped across building after building, despite his obvious lack of super powers, towards his house. A certain blond fox boy was slung over his shoulder as he ran. You see, when Neji had stormed into the wedding hall earlier, Naruto had fainted. But you as the reader cannot question that!! The poor boy can faint whenever he wants!! Sasuke, feeling a sudden urge to fuck the boy while unconscious, grabbed Naruto and intended to carry him back home.  
  
Just. Stick with me. Stuff is happening. Sasuke is on his way back home for sex? Okay.  
  
AND SO! Uchiha Sasuke bolted in through the front door of his notoriously Japanese-styled home, instantly running into a wall and dropping Naruto onto the hardwood floor! Tenderly, Sasuke sat up and rubbed the growing bump on his head before realizing he had dropped Naruto! This was when the blond finally decided to stir. Unfortunately, Naruto was still a little screwed in the head. Go figure.  
  
"Where the fuck am I?" was the first thing that spouted from his mouth (and from those perfectly plump lips). Azure eyes fluttered open to take in the sight of Uchiha Sasuke.  
  
In a dress. With hair down.  
  
Naruto's face lit up. "Are we married?!" he asked with a selfless grin. "This is so awesome! So we're on our honeymoon, right? That means we make out and stuff, right?"  
  
Sasuke grew red as a ... red thing. I don't know... a grape? A piece of red tape? Fire? Yes. Sasuke's face was on fire. "N-No... we--"  
  
"Aww! Don't be shy!" Naruto beamed, leaping onto Sasuke, embracing the boy in a tight hug, nuzzling his face in the others' chest. He didn't even have time to realize the chest was flat. A contented sigh escaped the blond's lips. "I wanna stay like this forever..."  
  
"Sasuke, you bastard! Get out here so I can kick your ass!" It was Neji.  
  
Sasuke growled. "You idiot! Get off!" What was he thinking when he brought Naruto here?! He didn't want Naruto to realize it was actually him in the dress. Did he really think Naruto was going to love him the way _he_ loved _him_? He should've been slapped for being so stupid. Why couldn't he simply do away with all the false hopes he had harbored for all these years?  
  
Neji began pounding on the doors of Sasuke's house, the paper-thin walls threatening to topple any moment upon the lovely couple. Soon, another pair of fists seemed to be pounding on the doors, and the familiar voice of Rasuke the princess cried out for Sasuke to open the door.  
  
"I'm not done lecturing about my past!!"  
  
"If you lay one hand on my Naruto, I swear, I'll disembowel your bowels!"  
  
"Please! Naruto! Get off!" Sasuke yelled, half-heartedly trying to pry the other boy off him. "Y-you shouldn't be doing this!" Because Naruto was obviously meant for Itachi. Or Rasuke.   
  
Not Neji. Neji was _crazy_.   
  
But Naruto and Sasuke had been fated as rivals and enemies, bound by an enmity and hatred unable to be broken, and there was nothing Sasuke could do about it!  
  
"Naruto's mine! Get out of there!"  
  
And yet he still loved him _so much_.  
  
"Don't be bothered by them."   
  
Sasuke suddenly turned to the blond in his lap at the sound of that angel's voice.   
  
Naruto brushed his hand against Sasuke's cheek, a loving smile gracing his lips. "Come on! We're on our honeymoon!" he proclaimed proudly. "So we gotta kiss and make out now. You gotta help me, though, 'cause I'm not too good at kissing!"   
  
And before Sasuke could utter another word of protest, they were drowned out by Naruto's lips crushing against his. Sasuke's eyes fluttered closed then, and his arms instinctively wrapped themselves around the other boy's body. Sasuke felt as though he were floating on the highest cloud in the highest part of heaven. He felt as though he had rid of all annoying people in the world. He felt free. Naruto then wrapped his arms about Sasuke's neck, pulling the Uchiha closer, moaning softly as Sasuke's tongue penetrated his lips and explored the hot caverns of his mouth.  
  
And that's when Neji knocked down the door to walk in on our lovers. Rasuke followed. The two angry boys were both panting.  
  
Neji pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke. "Pant! Pant! Naruto! You are being tricked! That is not Uchiha Rasuke! It is, in fact, the one you have loathed and hated all this time. It is the one, the only, Uchiha Sasuke! Your rival!"  
  
When Naruto pulled away from the kiss, his azure blue eyes blinked confusedly at the boy in front of him. Sasuke looked away, ashamed at the revelation of his _dark and sinister_ secret.  
  
"Sasuke...?" Naruto mouthed, his expression pain-stricken and sad.   
  
Sasuke held onto one of Naruto's arms. "Naruto..." he quietly began. "I..." How could he explain this?  
  
_I love you._  
  
Naruto ripped his arm from Sasuke's grip. "Y-you're fuckin' queer! I can't believe I k-kissed you!" He looked at Neji and Rasuke-- whom were also in dresses. He stomped up to Rasuke and kneed him in the crotch. "And you're a dude, too, aren't you? You're all goddamn queers!" He scowled. "Don't you guys feel like you're shaming your family _at all_?!" Truth be told, Naruto didn't care how queer they all were. He just felt betrayed. "I don't ever want to see you fags again!"  
  
Without another word, he ran away.

* * *

I finally wrote some more!! Only this part is really short and pointless and not really funny at all! I'm almost ashamed to put it up, but, eh, oh well. I'm a dynamic writer!! Always changing her styles DYNAMICALLY! DYNAMIC ENTRY!!! YOOOOOO!!!! I haven't really felt like writing this fic anymore TT I might write another humor fic to make up for the loss of happy here.  
  
(1) That had better not make any sense in Japanese. Something along the lines of "Wait a bit, please, is yo!!!" 


End file.
